Clear as a Bell

Sometimes, there are signs around you that you simply cannot ignore. Their messages ring loud and clear...

You know you're definitely middle-aged when...
Young handsome guys riding snazzy motorbikes stop in front of you. You're elated that someone finally noticed how heart-stoppingly beautiful you are, and you turn to them with your best smile. Instead of complimenting you, however, all they say is "Aunty, aap ko yeh address pata hai?" Aunty? Huh?! Who me?!! :((

You know you're more than a little overweight when...
Your hubby tells you "You know I love you very much; but this [your bulge] is a little scary. Why don't you go consult a doctor and make sure it's not a tumor."
Your daughter tells you "So what if you're fat? You're still beautiful."

You know you're addicted to the soaps on TV when...
You call up your mom over the phone and talk about characters on the soaps like they are real people. "Mom, can you believe that Karan married Urvashi? Just like that! Wow! What was he thinking?!"

You know you're steeped in total suburbia when...
All you can do when you meet up with a girlfriend is bitch about another common friend who's not there yet.

You know you've left the "simple living high thinking" ideal far behind when...
People ask you why you need all the things you are "collecting." "No," you answer. "You don't understand. I don't need it. I want it."

Note* If even two of the above hold true for you, you know it's time you move on [and ahead] in life!